


The Good Side

by wandas_sunshine



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M, Post-Break Up, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:42:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24007552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wandas_sunshine/pseuds/wandas_sunshine
Summary: Steve made a mistake, but at least you got the good side of things. He just never imagined it would hurt so badly.
Relationships: Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 109





	The Good Side

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted by me on wandas-sunshine on tumblr

You were nervous sitting there in the same little cafe that the two of you used to meet at almost daily. You were tucked into the back corner at your usual table, gazing out the window with your back to the door. Your cup was steaming in front of you. You hadn’t touched it yet. See, sitting there, and sipping your coffee, and watching people passing by on the busy streets while you waited for him to come...it felt too much like when things were okay between you. It felt too much like those days when he’d come and press sweet kisses to your lips, and apologize for being late. But he was always late, and it was always okay, because he was always sorry, and you could never stay mad at him when those big blue eyes looked so guilty.

The little bell over the door jingled in the way that used to excite you. Now it filled you with an anxious sort of dread. It had been over a year since you’d last seen Steve in person, and it hadn’t exactly been the most pleasant parting of ways.

_You were shaking as you packed up your things from Steve’s apartment. Neither of you had said a word to each other since you’d walked through the door. He was just following you around the apartment, standing in the doorways. Your chest ached from the crying that you didn’t want to admit you’d been doing all night long._

_He stood there with crossed arms, brooding silently as you erased every trace of yourself from the apartment the two of you had shared for the past year. You folded the flaps of the box together, and he stepped towards you so he could carry it to your car. Before he could, you’d scooped it into your own arms and brushed past him._

_“(Y/N), let me help.” He pleaded. You glared at him. His voice was hoarse, you figured yours wasn’t sounding much better. You had cried yourself to sleep and hadn’t stopped crying since you woke up._

_“You’ve made it perfectly clear that you don’t need me around. I don’t need you to usher me out of your life.” You snapped. The words stung you to say, but they sunk into Steve’s heart like venomous fangs. You’d been together for three year. Of course you’d had your fair share of fights. But never had he heard you sound so...over him._

The chair across from you was pulled out, and Steve sat himself down in front of you. He looked different. Less like the all-American boy-next-door you’d been in love with. His blonde hair was shaggier now, and he’d grown his beard out. You expected it to sting looking at him now, but it didn’t. Maybe you’d fallen out of love with more grace than you’d initially realized. Betrayal would do that to a person

“You look good, (Y/N).” He spoke after a moment. Hearing your name from his lips was strange after so long. It didn’t sound like music to your ears anymore. His voice was wavering, the way it used to after he’d been crying. Part of you wondered...You shook off the thought. It wasn’t fair to guilt yourself like that.

“You do too. The beard is a good look on you.” You looked down at the steam billowing from the cup tucked carefully between your hands. You just barely caught his forced smile. “So...how are things? We haven’t talked in…” You knew that he knew just how long it had been. You were the one to stop answering his 4am texts, after all.

“Nothing’s really changed. I moved in with Bucky.” He informed you. He didn’t mention that it was because he couldn’t exist in his apartment without thinking about how much colder it felt without your light in it, without remembering that you were never coming back to him. You nodded, completely unsure of what to say. Then he pointed to your hand. “You have a...that’s...that’s new.”

Your eyes drifted down to the sparkling engagement ring nestled on your finger. Your face lit up, and the knowledge that someone else’s love made it brighten that way made Steve sick. How could he have been so stupid as to let you go.

“Yeah. It’s new. His name’s Thomas. He asked me last month. It was a little fast, but I know he’s the one.” You beamed at your ex and brought your cup up to your lips, finally taking a drink. “What about your love life? You and Sharon still…” You weren’t sure how to word it. You didn’t even know what they had been before.

“No. We...It didn’t last.” He sighed and scratched at his jaw. You should have felt worse that he’d lost her, but how could you after everything?

_You were curled up to his chest in absolute bliss, the thin white sheet being the only thing between your skin and the cool air of your shared room. Your chest was sticking just a little to his, both of you still heated from your celebration of your engagement. Neither of you minded one bit. His arms were still wrapped around you, one hand stroking through your hair while the other traced lazily against your back. He always got that way after sex. Soft and touchy, like you’d disappear if he wasn’t holding you. It had become your favorite thing. A reminder that he loved you and wasn’t going to let you slip through his fingers._

_“I love you so much, (Y/N).” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your head._

_“I love you too, Stevie. Why else would I say yes?” You teased, waggling your finger at him and showing off the ring he’d slipped onto it only hours ago. You brushed your fingertips against his jaw and leaned up to press your lips together. The kiss was slow and sweet and didn’t last nearly long enough as he pulled your hand to his lips. A soft kiss was laid against your palm, then against the ring he had chosen._

_The both of you were nearing sleep as you curled up, basking in the afterglow. It was all barely-there kisses and feather-light touches until the sound of a phone buzzing against the bedside table drew you out of it. You whined and stretched to pick up the offending device from where your two phones lay together. You glanced at his screen, expecting it to be Bucky or Nat asking how the proposal went. But when you opened the message, you were greeted by something exponentially worse._

“I’m sorry, Steve.” You met his gaze again. His eyes were still clouded with the same guilt from before. You wondered if they’d ever shine as bright as they once had. But Steve knew they never would. He would never be able to wash away the weight of losing the best thing that had ever happened to him.

“So you’re engaged. What else did I miss?” He asked. Truth be told, he wasn’t sure what to say now. He’d asked to meet in your old spot for a reason. He’d hoped it would bring back something, memories or buried feelings for him. It was naive really, but he had come with every intention of begging you to come back to him. He wasn’t sure why he’d expected you to be just as miserable as he was without you at his side. You’d always been good at looking on the bright side of things.

“I moved out of Nat’s place. I got my own apartment a few blocks away from her. Tom is moving in soon. Oh, and we got a dog!” You unlocked your phone to show Steve a picture of you and your brand new puppy. “And I got that promotion I was trying so hard to get.”

In complete honesty, your break up had brought out a side of you that you’d never expected. Instead of sulking around Natasha’s apartment, you’d dove head-first into making your life better. You socialized more with newer people, worked your ass off to get where you wanted to be. You’d become a brighter version of yourself. And as much as it hurt Steve to see you happy with anyone else, he was proud more than anything else.

“Looks like you got the good side of things” He couldn’t help the heartbroken chuckle that came after he spoke. Natasha had nearly killed him after you walked the three miles to her apartment, heartbroken and completely alone in the middle of the night. Then again when she found out why you had done it.

Your eyes scanned the screen like you were misreading it. A new message from Sharon Carter. It read “missing you Captain” with a series of very flirty emojis strung behind it. If that wasn’t enough to completely shatter your heart, the picture that loaded would. It was a mirror shot of the stunning blonde in America themed lingerie that was far too reminiscent of Steve’s suit. You slowly looked away from the phone to your fiance’s face.

_”(Y/N), what’s wrong?” He asked, blue eyes scanning your eyes while his brain thought through a million awful scenarios. Not one of them came close to the terrible reality._

_“What…” You blinked back tears. “What is this?” You asked, sitting up and letting the sheet fall away from your body. You handed him the phone with an unsteady hand. You didn’t sound angry, or even upset. Just a little shocked._

_“Let me explain.” He stated immediately. You shook your head, shifting to climb off the bed you two shared. The weight of the tension in the room was too heavy, too hot. You needed air. It felt like your lungs were caving in. All you could think about were his hands, the hands that had just pushed you to pleasure more times than you could count, all over her._

_“Nothing to explain.” You countered. You were already pulling your clothes on as he sat up. “You slept with her, didn’t you?”_

_He gave you a look, a silent plea. You did your best not to look at him, but a whisper of your name shattered your resolve. You met his gaze, those sparkling eyes that once gave you so much comfort, a sense of home, were now clouded with guilt._

_“When?” You settled your hands on your hips and trained your eyes on a random wrinkle in the sheets. Anything to keep you from looking at him._

_“Once a few months ago.” You gave a slight nod at his answer, still at a loss for words. There was a long, heavy silence before he spoke once more. “Then again...three weeks ago.”_

_That was all you could take. You felt like you’d be sick if you stayed any longer. You buttoned up your jeans and shoved your feet into your shoes. Neither of you spoke as you gathered the most important things. Phone, keys, the overnight bag you usually kept packed in case of emergencies. Everything else could wait._

_“(Y/N), please talk to me. Where are you gonna go?” He begged as your hand gripped the doorknob with a strength you didn’t even realize you had, your knuckles fading to white under the force. You looked down, and a gling caught your eye. What had you beaming with pride five hours earlier now just made you nauseous. “Baby?”_

_You squeezed your eyes shut to force back your tears. Your fingers made quick work of pulling off your ring. You tossed it onto the bed in front of him._

_“Have a good life, Steve.” You turned to leave before pausing. “And tell Sharon thanks for me. It’s good to know who you can trust.”_

“I guess I did get the good side.” You looked down at your cup again, but it wasn’t out of guilt or anger. “You know, I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

For a moment, Steve brightened, and his heart didn’t feel so entirely full of lead.

“I don’t think I understand.” He confessed. You smiled, a genuine smile that lit up your face and made your eyes twinkle. Oh, how he missed being the cause of such radiance.

“You taught me how to be myself. You taught me how to love, Steve. You taught me how to love, and then you destroyed me.” Your words weren’t meant maliciously, they were just honest. Steve was sure death would hurt less than hearing you say things like that. “And that’s how I learned how to survive. I didn’t let myself wallow in self pity and I’m better for it. So thank you.”

Steve released a shaky breath. This had been an awful idea. Almost as bad as letting Sharon seduce him not once, but twice, all while he could have been reminding you how much he loved you. He could have been reminding you just how badly he needed you to breathe, but instead he tore apart your relationship. He hadn’t expected to lose you, but you walked away and took every good thing in his life with you.

“I’m sorry.” When Steve gave you a confused look, you elaborated. “I’m sorry that I got the good side of things.”


End file.
